My mother once told me that as a child I had my own mind and tended to the opposite to what I was told to do. Locally, such a child would have been known as an ‘own way’ child. And there were quite a few around that small village. Retrospectively, I can now see that I always had an ‘own way’ and disobeying streak in me. Perhaps, I could lay the blame on family genes. Over the decades of ‘maturing’ I have tried to keep that ‘own way’, wayward, and transgressive tendency in check. I barely managed to make it into ordination. After seminary, my church (Lutheran) thought I was very un-Lutheran, so I had to spend an additional year of internship under close supervision. I had contended the view that ‘Jesus is the only way’! They were probably correct in their decision. I am not sure, though, how effective that internship was to bring me back to ‘right belief’ . For brief periods I did manage to keep my dis-obeying streak at bay. I am not sure whether it has made life more pleasing or less miserable. Currently, as I glance back at my writings, reflections, working life, and take stock of my what/where I currently inhabit, I can see how my disobeying streak has become almost fully blown, wayward, and transgressive. Strangely, I am at ‘home’ with it all

Working with and through archival materials especially missionary (and colonial) archives, one is struck by the role of ‘obedience’ as a key Christian quality of faith and faithfulness, largely to keep order and maintain status quo. Be it Mission Organizations’ appeal to home member churches, the call and commissioning of missionaries, their roles and disposition in the colonial mission field, or from the well documented letters to and from the mission field, obedience seemed to be a priority. In fact, teaching ‘obedience’ (read here as geared towards submission) would have been a critical requirement in the process of evangelising (some did disobey). It was no different from the underlying colonial motivation. In fact, it can be reasonable argued that obedience is still high priority. In the ecclesial domain, a perusal of liturgies and manuals (check-out baptismal, confirmation, ordination or wedding vows, hymns, doctrinal positions etc) across most traditions would reveal that ‘obedience’ continue to play a central role in the life of the faithful. Now, the idea of faithful and not faithful is another curious ad loaded disposition for a next piece.

The word ‘obedience’ has an interesting history in terms of its evolution and have been variously deployed to mean submission to authority – dutiful compliance to some command or law – being compliant. One may then ask: why obedience as a virtue that is often equated with being faithful – a path to blessings and joy and fulfilment of the Christian life? Whose interest does ‘obedience really serve? As they say: always follow ‘the interest’ (just like following the money). The late CLR James hinted that being obedient meant for colonised people that their “patience and forbearance” (also taught Christian virtues) remained “among the strongest bulwarks” of the exploiters. So, a possible question may be: what have centuries of catechising ‘obedience’ as a virtuous Christian habit done to the minds of the ‘faithful’ and for the ‘interest’ of Church? While the idea/habit of obedience, drawn from Hebrew and Christian scriptures, is often seen as a sign of trust, respect, and love for God (God knows best is the lure), the idea is meant to be not mere rule following but a life shaped by and motivated by faith and faithfulness. History, though, is replete with examples of how ‘obedience’ was deployed as an oppressive tool: passive adherence – submitting to tyrannical authorities, abusive governance, and unjust power structures and laws – reinforcing rigid social and gender hierarchies – persecuting tendencies that divert from for doctrinal stands – cultural erasure – complicity in dehumanizing oppression and much more.

If midwives did not disobey the order to kill male babies or those wisdom visitors from the east not disobeyed empire’s lure to come and report what and where of a birth, imagine what the consequences would have been? Obedience in Christian teaching needs intentional undressing, especially given the unhelpful ways it can be (unwittingly) deployed to manage, control (think of order), and can cover-up a multitude of unjust habits around submission and authority. Is it possible that ‘obedience’ as a Christian virtue may have been devised to maintain the total reach of Church and to quench Spirit (who is largely mysterious and mischievous)? A disobedient Jesus was killed because of the evil and insidious reach of empire and its collaborators. Like him, those who would dare to disobey know the cost – they become victims of ‘establishment’ or ‘the interest’.

I suspect that my ‘own way’ and disobeying habit would continue to stay with me. Over the years, it has gathered multiple shapes from the wisdom/insights and sacrifice of others. It does resonate and sit well with what decolonial thinkers name as ‘epistemic disobedience’. There may be elephants in our theological-ecclesial rooms. Minding them ought to lead to the realisation that the room is the problem, from which a ‘breaking loose’ must happen. The whole infrastructure must be shaken by unlearning obedience and relearning disobedience to make us fly freely.  If “you wanna fly” as Toni Morrison bluntly puts it: “you have to give up the shit that weighs you down”.

@caribleaper January 16, 2026